The Beast I’m Meant to Be is a beautiful illustration of that raw honesty; music has always been a great means for artists to express emotions that often find no words. The album is a work of personal experience, struggle, and self-reflection, capturing powerful moments of pain, growth, loss and resilience. This started as a means to an end when the writer was fighting depression and gradually turned into a personal and exciting debut album of heavy metal with elements from other music genres.
The artist behind the album isn’t afraid to dive into the deep end of emotions and real life experiences, musically. Every song has meaning and purpose—from the deeply personal title track to a heart-felt One More Hug written after the heart-wrenching loss of a beloved pet. The album was developed over a year of collaboration with gifted artists such as songwriter Ben Garber, executive producer Brian Feinstein and producer Tim Boate and as such is a record that is both raw and deeply contemplative.
During the interview, we explore the inspiration for The Beast I’m Meant to Be, the creative process behind the album, the themes that resonate throughout the album, and the message that the artist wants to convey to the listener.
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“The Beast I’m Meant to Be is such a bold and powerful title for an album. What inspired you to name it this, and what does it represent in your journey?
The title comes from a song I wrote about being low in self esteem. It takes the feeling of nothing working out for you and amplifies it. I thought it would make a statement as the album title. It also reflects some of the issues I faced that led to me writing songs in the first place.
Can you take us through the creative process behind this album? Where did it all begin, and how long did it take to bring it to life?
I started writing music as a way to express myself while battling depression as an adult. I then got a guitar and started learning to play. After studying some Metallica albums I was able to put lyrics and music together. After a number of years I wanted to release some of the music I’ve written for the world. Another songwriter, Ben Garber, introduced me to producer Tim Boate and we started working together. It took about a year from there to come together into the final product.
What was the biggest theme or emotion you wanted to explore across the entire album?
The biggest theme across the album is just life in general. I hope listeners reflect on their own lives and their own journeys through it. The album covers some low points in The Beast I’m Meant to Be and When a Heart. Winding Road is about getting stronger from the tough times. One More Hug is about the loss of a beloved pet.
How did you approach the songwriting for The Beast I’m Meant to Be? Did the songs come together naturally, or was there a specific vision guiding you?
This album is a collection of songs I had already written. They come from different points in my life. It’s mostly the songs I felt were ready for the world to hear.
Were there any personal experiences or specific moments in your life that heavily influenced the direction of this album?
My battle with depression and mental illness shaped a number of songs on this album. As I said, I started writing to express myself. Once I started writing about that, I branched out into other topics that struck me to write about.
How does The Beast I’m Meant to Be compare to your previous work? Does it mark a new chapter or a continuation of your artistic evolution?
This is my debut album. My previous work is just rough recordings that I would share with people I knew. I started writing metal songs so this is a continuation of that. I will write in whatever genre I think a given song fits in as there are a couple variety songs on this album.
Can you walk us through the production process? Did you work with collaborators, or was this a more personal and independent project?
The process starts with executive producer Brian Feinstein. He helped me refine the arrangements and lyrics. I would then go to Tim to construct the songs with rhythm guitar and vocals. He added bass, lead and drums as well other layers to complete the songs. For One More Hug and The Battle of Turtle Pond we used my midi tracks that I composed.
What was the most challenging part of creating this album from start to finish?
There were no major challenges making this album. I did redo some parts of some songs based on feedback from Brian. The Door That Won’t Open needed a better chorus for example. Things went pretty smoothly for the most part.
Are there any standout tracks on the album that hold special meaning for you, and if so, why?
The Beast I’m Meant to Be stands out as a description of the mental issues I went through for a number of years. It’s a pessimistic view of life, but in that situation you don’t always see any positives. Also, One More Hug stands out for me. I wrote that when my cat, Bonnie, died. I hope people can find some solace in that song if they’ve lost someone close to them.
How did you decide on the track order? Was there a specific flow or story you wanted listeners to experience?
I mostly wanted listeners to hear when a new song started so I mixed up the sounds throughout the album. I did put a couple songs I felt were the strongest at the beginning to give listeners the best first impression.
What do you hope listeners take away or feel when they listen to The Beast I’m Meant to Be from beginning to end?
I hope people will try to be more aware of who around them may be struggling through life. People don’t always show it to the world. I hope this leads to greater respect for each other in society.
Were there any sonic or production experiments you tried on this album that pushed you creatively?
The biggest experiment was The Battle of Turtle Pond. I wrote the song like a traditional folk song passed down through generations. Saga of our people I call it. I wanted an old time feel for the song. I found a midi harpsichord which sounded good. If I had found a lute I probably would have used that.
How does this album reflect who you are as an artist right now, and where do you see yourself heading after this release?
This album shows that while I am mostly a metal music creator that I am not afraid to try other genres. I see myself sticking to metal as I go forward but I may deviate from that. I would consider working with others going forward as this was mostly a solo project with some people helping. I feel like I could work with artists in a number of genres.
